1 march 2019
This is something that isn’t a daily occurrence but something I feel like comes up a lot in my experience as an adoptee in regards to my biology, my blood, my genes that makes me feel so many things and sometimes nothing at all. For starters, this notion that we have as a society that family blood is above all else, blood versus water, is a little ridiculous if you ask me. The notion that because you’re blood related to someone means that you’re more connected to them or are in some ways more obligated to be loyal because of coming from the same bloodline feels, to me at least, dated. There are so many messages that get reinforced of this notion aside from Friendsgiving when that’s an acceptable time to ‘make your own family’ and not see family. Family doesn’t always mean blood relatives to everyone and it’s deeper than friends also.
Family doesn’t mean blood relatives and the fact that that is something that is the default is something that will always bother me. This is one of those things that comes up or is an undertone to so many experiences or micro-experiences that makes me cringe. The importance of what’s in your genes or where you came from genetically or whats’ in your blood will never cease to make me squirm. It’s all human blood, it all bleeds red, it all circulates the same bodily structures. The only different kinds of blood we have are your blood types.
This is going a bit off track but this is just to say and offer as food for thought the weird science-y things we say, think are brought up to think about our blood, our genes and what it means for our identity. It also brings up a lot of icky feelings about mothers being defined as somehow more valid because “you came from my womb” or “your bones are my bones” type things. All this to say, family doesn’t necessarily mean blood and blood isn’t everything and is not thicker than water.